This morning I got news of yet another one of our friends getting divorced. Satan is celebrating again. Do we want to give him cause to be happy? It breaks my heart, mostly for the children, but here is another eternal family destroyed. We have had a slew of divorces and "trial separations" in our ward lately. Of all of these situations, there is only 1 couple that I feel was totally justified in divorcing. All of them are based on someone (or both) not living up to sacred covenants made is temples. I know that I do not know all that went, or is going wrong in these relationships, but it seems to me that people are giving up too easily and are so quick to think that divorce is the answer and will solve all problems. From the only personal experience I have witnessed of divorce, all problems were not solved. Some really rotten new ones arrived and people have been affected very strongly for life. Is it really so hard to love someone? I think back all those years to when I first met and fell in love with Matt. I thought I loved him then. All the experiences, both good and bad, that we have endured together over the last 14.5 years, have made my love and appreciation and gratitude for him grow. He is my very best blessing. He has brought the best blessings into my life. Oh, don't get me wrong, there are things that make me nuts about him. He knows what they are! But, I will not let it ruin our marriage. In the big things, he is great. He loves me and the kids. He works very hard to support us and be there for us. He honors and uses his priesthood authority to bless us and those he serves. He is so devoted to the Lord. It is hard to have his always having these big responsibility callings, but I am so grateful to be married to a man who the Lord sees fit to call. We get more blessing in return for his service. He has sacrificed much and will continue to do it. I know that there are things about me that make him crazy too. But, we signed up for eternity and intend to see it through. I just don't understand why people can't just love each other. Be a little more forgiving. Ask for forgiveness yourself. Work hard to love that person. It is kind of fun! Intead of a six month trial separation, I think people should do a six month trial marriage. For a few months pretend that you love each other. Do whatever it takes to make that person happy. Think of the other first. Give up some of the things you want for what they want. Fake it if you have to for a while. I bet it would not take too much time to fall in love again. And I think it would be a better experiment than a pretend divorce. Life is hard. Marriage is hard. Life is wonderful, marriage is wonderful.
6 comments:
I have been struggling so much lately with this. Our very best friends got a divorce. Alan had been best friends since childhood with the guy. His wife and I had twin girls within two months of one another. Her and I were best friends at one time. It has been unbearably painful watching a once happy home be destroyed and taken apart. Loosing her as a friend. Knowing she has left the church and betrayed all her covenants and wondering how a mother could give all that up. I totally understand.
Danae,
I could not agree with you more. I am very sad to hear the news of our friends. Marriage is hard and Jared and I have not gone without our struggles, our frustrations, our fights ... but like I told him the other day, I figure those things are all a part of it ... I'm not necessarily going to "like" him everyday, but I sure am going to love him. We are pretty lucky, you and me Danae, to have the awesome husbands that we do.
I have noticed the very same thing! Crazy how many of my friends are divorced. It is so hard, but sometimes marriages really aren't salvageable and it's the right decision.
I would agree with that too, Jennifer.
What a beautiful blog. It is one of the most needed and heartfelt commentaries I have read in a long, long time. I too have a difficult time understanding why it is so easy to give up when it has such a devastating effect on families. I as well thought that the committment I had made included the concept of for better or worse. I was committed to do within my power to carry it through. But apparently that was not enough and indeed Satan is hard at work to attack the most precious gift we have, our families. It is disheartening every day to see the people who struggle because of their inability to make that most special of all relationships last. I am so glad that I have a wife now that looks beyond my everyday failings and loves me with an eternal perspective.
inglesWhat a beautiful blog. It is one of the most needed and heartfelt commentaries I have read in a long, long time. I too have a difficult time understanding why it is so easy to give up when it has such a devastating effect on families. I as well thought that the committment I had made included the concept of for better or worse. I was committed to do within my power to carry it through. But apparently that was not enough and indeed Satan is hard at work to attack the most precious gift we have, our families. It is disheartening every day to see the people who struggle because of their inability to make that most special of all relationships last. I am so glad that I have a wife now that looks beyond my everyday failings and loves me with an eternal perspective.
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