Thankfuls

I am thankful for Wild Things

Sweet Surprises

Sisters

My Eternal Family

More: My parents who gave me and my sisters such a wonderful childhood and who are the best example of marriage and service and love and so much more.

Matt's parents who raised him to be the man he is

That Matt has a job and I do not

My house, cars and indoor plumbing

Healthy bodies and bright minds

America and all the good it represents

Schools for my children

The gospel: my testimony, the priesthood, a temple just up the road, my Savior

Passing of the torch

This morning I ran the annual Apex Turkey Trot 5k with Madsen and Sullivan. First a few disclaimers: 1. I have not been running so I am way out of shape.
2. I am 35 years old
3. I weigh a good 40 pounds more than I did in high school
4. I just had a baby :) totally joking, a lady I know from the boys school was so impressed with me for running when I just had a baby. I don't think 1 year counts as "just"

With that said, I can not run with my boys. They beat me by a ton. Good for them. Oh to be young again and run with out being weary or having sore legs or think I am going to die after a pathetic 3 miles. The boys did great. I told them that if they did not walk at all I would buy them a treat after the race. I got them frosties at Wendy's. Sullivan was the family champ with a time of 26:11, Madsen said his time was 27 or 28 something, he didn't pay enough attention. Mine will not be published. I am proud of the boys and think that with a little training, they could be good runners. After these races, I am always so ashamed of my times. It is hard not to compare what I used to do to what I can barely accomplish now. Why do I compare a 35 year old, out of shape woman to a 14-18 year old who spent hours running every day? I will never run a 5k in 20 minutes again. I should just try to improve my old lady times. I realized this morning that I really need to start running now, if I plan to run the Cary Road race in April. I know that sounds far away. I can't do a 10k without training. And the only 10k times I have to compare are old lady times. So, once again, starting on Monday, November 30 (I know, I know, it is not the first of the month) I will be running. That way I will have a base endurance level and conditioning ready to start real training for the 10k in January. Who knows, it might help keep holiday pounds off and help me get rid of the 20 I want to get rid of! And, after training for a 10 k that half marathon won't be so bad.

Book Group ?

I am hosting book group at my house this evening. My house is a mess right now. My list of things to do today includes cleaning the house and making a whole bunch of food and some shopping, a parent teacher conference and musical auditions. As I am cleaning I am wondering why am I doing this? The house will remain mostly clean until 3:30. Then I will have to clean it again. Then we will eat dinner and I will have to clean again! All to impress some ladies who most likely wouldn't really care if they showed up and dinner dishes were still on the counter and my carpet was not freshly vacuumed. The most important thing to clean is the bathroom, just in case someone needs it. I guess I am putting on the game face. The one that everyone sees and thinks I have it all together. It is the same face we put on every Sunday. We see each other at our best and judge that. Thinking that this must be how it always is for that lady. Why do we judge our Monday morning selves to someone elses Sunday best? Of course we always see peoples houses clean. I am usually only at other peoples houses when they know I am coming. And they have spent the day cleaning... three times! Stop in unexpected at the house of a family and the house will not be perfectly clean and the mom will not be in her very best clothes looking like she just stepped out of a magazine. That is what I am thinking as I am cleaning my house for my friends. Maybe I should stop and hope they will still be my friends even if there are Star Wars action figures on the floor during book group.

Losing My Baby

I feel like I am losing my baby Why do they have to grow up so quickly? Why do they stop saying cute little guy things and start sounding big? Why do they have to have attitudes? Why do I have to stop doing everything for him and let him do it himself?

I know most of you are looking at this and thinking, Cannon is not the baby. I think of him as the baby, except for Waverly. He was the baby for so long. I have had more fun with this little guy than I got to have with the others when they were very young. It was just a different phase of life, an easier, more pleasant one for me, which made it easier to enjoy my boy. He is growing up. I know this happens when they get into school and their skills just multiply so quickly.

The other day the boys and I were playing a game and it was Cannon's turn. It is one of those games where you have to decide what action to take... he looked at me and said, "Mom, we need to get serious about construction." No baby there.

After his parent/teacher conference I told him that his teacher told him to clean his room. He was a little puzzled by that. He looked me in the eye and said, "do you trust me?" Well, yes I do. I asked him if he trusted me. He asked again if Mrs. Amador really wants him to clean his room and I again said yes, she does. He smiled and said, "you are teasing me."

I took him to school late after a dental appointment and after signing him in and giving him a kiss I watched him walk down the hall with his big back pack full of books (he wants it to be heavy like brothers) with his pass in hand and there was no baby.

Home Sweet Home

This morning I got an e-mail from the realtor I spoke with in April. The house I found that I so desperately want, has dropped $10,000. Too bad for me, it is still just out of reach. I wish I had never seen this house. It makes me crazy that it is sitting there taunting me. It has everything I could ever want or need and is so reasonably priced, especially compared to houses of equivalent square footage. It keeps us in our ward, it gets my kids to the right schools, it has a basement and a huge pantry and a laundry ROOM! not a closet, a room with cabinets. It has 5 bedrooms, 3 bath rooms, a sunroom and a loft. It has the right flooring and counter tops and wood blinds, an intercom so I wouldn't have to yell to get the kids to come down, or up when I need them. It is the perfect house for my family.

The picture is my house. I loved my house when we moved here. It was so much bigger than our tiny Colorado house. We actually had empty rooms, until I bought furniture. I still like my house, it is just too small for my big family. It is a great house for a family with 2 or maybe 3 kids. I love my back yard, so nice and big and fun. My family is growing and my house is not.

I need to remember that I am so grateful to have a house. That I own it, not renting it. That we are cool in the summer and warm in the winter. We have enough space that we all have a place, a crowded smooshed space, but it could be worse.

I am going to just be grateful and not look at the real estate web site. I am going to love my house and clean it and fix it up. I am going to be grateful that I have a big family that I love. I am going to be grateful that my husband has a job. I am going to keep doing all that is asked of me at home, at church and any where else. I am going to keep being faithful and know that Heavenly Father is aware of me and my needs and wants. I am going to be grateful for my challenges, there are a lot worse things than just having house a little too small.

poor me!

Today was a bad day at church and I am frustrated and I want to quit... everything!
My kids were so bad in Sacrament meeting. It drives me crazy when they are like this, I think they are old enough to behave for one hour! I hope the people who were sitting near us will forgive us and still be my friends. Especially since Matt's boss and his family was sharing our pew.

My primary class was particularly out of control today too. They are 10 turning 11, 6 boys and 3 girls. The boys are so disruptive and crazy I am sure the girls do not get anything out of the lesson, the parts that might be heard over the boys or the things I might get to say other than "Dallin and Jacob, will you please stop talking! Rhett and Alex, it is time to listen. Sullivan! Stop it. No, Nash, I will not tell them to stick their noses on the wall..." I really love the kids as kids. As a class, I am about done. I don't know what to do. The harder I try to make the classes more fun and interesting, the more out of control they get. I guess I could have the Bishop come sit in on a class... his son is one of them. Or maybe the 1st counslelor in the Bishopric, his son is also in the class (Sullivan) or maybe the High Priest Group leader, or the Relief Society President... yes, all of the parents of these wonderful boys.

I know this is whimpy and Sundays are challenging for everyone with kids. I had a bad day and it does not help that I am on my own all day. I get to suffer through sacrament wrestling match without my husband. Then I get to suffer through 2 more hours of misbehaving kids to go home and be on my own for a few more hours. Sundays have not been spiritually uplifting or renewing for me for a while. I want a calling where I can go to Relief Society or Sunday school. Anything that makes it so I don't have to be with kids on my own for 3 hours. I am going to have a discussion with a member of the bishopric tonight!

Oh, and Madsen gets in the car and says, " since we do not have scouts this week or school on Wednesday we ( he and his friends) were thinking it would be fun if you would pick us up after basketball practice (church ball) and then we can have a sleep over." Bad timing kiddo! Do not ask your frustrated, whits end mother to have a sleep over! I hate sleep overs. I happen to have the smallest house and the largest family per square foot of Madsen's group of friends. I do not have space for a sleep over any more. I do not want to have 3 extra kids in my house that is bursting at the seems as it is. I told him I would rather have them get together on Wednesday then have them spend the night. He is not happy.

So, I am whining and complaining. I know there are people dealing with harder things than a difficult Sunday. And now I have vented on-line and I will vent when Matt gets home. And next week I will again try my hardest to teach my class and not hurt anyone!

Once in a life time...

This is the only photo of the only time I have and will ever, mow the lawn. I hope you all enjoy it!
I actually thought it was kind of fun. I really do not understand why the boys throw such fits about it. I still will never do it again. I figure I have 4 sons, they can do it. And no, I will not make Waverly mow the lawn. She can if she wants. Even when she is the only one in the house. I will pay a neighbor boy.